cosplay pros and cons (see what I did there)

My experience with cosplaying/ generally playing dress up has always be a bittersweet cocktail of enjoyment and regret I didn't really get in to cosplay as an idea until around 2014 when I attended my first comic con I was in my Star Wars legging and a Pokemon hat because that made perfect sense and I was walking around the hall every single electrode in me was buzzing I felt as if I may catch on fire or pop like a bubble no like a rogue float shot down at the Macy's parade, or you know, Something to that effect.

As a kid I loved dressing up it usually meant all eyes would be on me that I was something work paying attention to. The costume gave me new persons that my mother would allow to push boundaries within the count of the fact she found it adorable how into my character of the, in hindsight raver tyrant like, princess I was playing. But here right, all around of me in dusty beaten down hall people were still doing it. Stormtrooper, solers sailers, walkers and red shirts where everywhere and the best part was it was entirely normal well as normal as it could be.

By 2015 I was hooked my first cosplay was Misa from the anime death note a daily simply gothic outfit and the hairstyle was essential my then long hair being half tied up. I wasn't treated like cosplay royalty by any means I remember being totally out of character and my costume was very messy but it was enough. People wanted pictures with me, of me, I had made it to a z list celebrity status but in my mind, I was the queen of the world. people complimented me, chatted with me, smiled and hugged me saying how it was their favourite show. if everyone hadn't been so polite it may have been more uncomfortable but everyone was so respectful and kind. it felt like a proper community.

 the best year I had was when I chose to be a shadow hunter with two of my good friends, again the costumes where so simple but this time our group felt untouchable. We knew the hall, we knew how to pose how to act. In attends in 2015 and 2016 but March 2017 had to be my relive trip. A relive moment or even in my definition is a moment you do well and become that relive your other family members are compared to in an argument you are the bar the be all and end all. And after that, on it was certainly the end of it all. In the latter half of 2017, I struggled to find flattering or even fitting clothes for my group costume, as a result, I admittedly became irritable during planning. finally, the day came and was ultimately was Ruined by a sudden on come illness. This may be a silly thing to cling to, it not being the concept of cosplaying's  fault I was ill but all that lead up to that moment of sickness was hardly sunshine and lollypops. It wasn't fun I felt stressed and rushed. my character didn't feel empowering or with being. for me within a matter of days, the fun was drained out and the anxiety was back hurtling down like a barrel of bricks, screaming "why are we doing this!"

This year I am hoping I may find a way to fall back in love with it, away I can feel safe and happy and just generally more relaxed. because it can be relaxing, it can be an escape and it can just be a geeky, silly, fun thing to do with your friends. It just depends on how you see it. so good or bad that was my cosplay experience. I hope you enjoyed hearing it and i will talk to you soon.